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D.K Baby D.K

一切都是老天安排好地!

 
 
 

日志

 
 

好久没来,给大家发个笑话吧  

2008-05-12 13:59:02|  分类: 默认分类 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

  下载LOFTER 我的照片书  |

猫狗日记

DOG DIARY:

8:00 a.m. - Dog food! My favourite thing!

9:30 a.m. - A car ride! My favourite thing!

9:40 a.m. - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!

10:30 a.m. - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!

12:00 p.m. - Lunch! My favourite thing!

1:00 p.m. - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!

3:00 p.m. - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!

5:00 p.m. - Milk bones! My favourite thing!

7:00 p.m. - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!

8:00 p.m. - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!

11:00 p.m. - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!

***************************************

CAT DIARY:

Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly

demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.

Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe..... For now..

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